The Grandparent Resource Center doesn't have people based in every state or even in every country; we don't have fancy offices in a large high rise nor a 100 volunteers helping in the office. We work directly with families on a one-one- one basis teaching them the legal system; saving one child at a time from ending up in endless foster homes. We identify with them what their needs and concerns are, and then teach them how the legal system works so they can do their own cases pro se, petitioning for custody, visitation or adoption of their at-risk grandchildren. The organization is carefully monitored by a practicing attorney, but without the old-fashioned paternalistic approach to helping needy families.
The need is terrifying, especially when you look at the levels of needs the families have. But, I'm not pessimistic about the possibility of achieving change. We believe in "bottoms-up" help. We reject the idea that benefits will trickle down from successful, prosperous organizations in the community to the neediest. It is our objective to target directly the middle class, the working poor who cannot afford to hire an attorney, but make too much money for legal aid. Those that are voiceless in the situations in which they find themselves. All of our team members from psychologist to the process server and everyone in between understand and share the same vision, to help those who cannot afford help, but have the internal desire to help a grandchild by taking the legal system on with their own hands by learning through intense instruction through those who have walked through the system themselves.
My father who was the most dearest man I know understood the value of family, teaching me the value of family which I carry with me today. Coming from a family of thirteen, each family member cared for the other, helping when someone was sick or a child needed to stay with an aunt or uncle until mom or dad got their life back together. Each child loved by a family member each and every day.
I'm always deeply affected by what I experience. I vary between being very angry about the injustices and feeling very sad, especially when I see small children having to experience abuse in any fashion. That's really what galvanizes me to want to raise awareness. Awareness is the most important thing, because all that is lacking is politicians' willing to change the system so that the child is not abused, not taken advantage of by the system itself.
We have to protest very strongly against governments that are shortsighted, that don't seem to grasp the implications of what they do when they put their own ideals before the family. The most effective way to change policies is that the people who vote for the politicians demand that they change the way they behave when they are in office. We have to raise awareness about the inequalities between the families that are served and the government or commonly known as Human Services. Families need to be urged to put pressure on their representatives and senators, in order to make them wake up to change, to the fact that it doesn't have to be like this. So much power has been taken from the families. Things need to change, and they need to change now, not later if we are to continue to raise children in America who will grow up to defend what is right and moral supporting their own families when needed.
After visiting many countries and helping many grandparent families from around the world I see that there needs to be a universal sense of responsibility that is called for, and we can't just give it out in small portions when it suits us. A recent trip to Cambodia taught me that even when there is a language barrier, we are all still the same under the skin and we have the same concerns about our families. I saw a mother raising her children on the sidewalk in front of hotel, just because it was the safest place to raise them. I saw a village of grandparents on the Cambodian/Vietnam border raising grandchildren because the parents were either dead or too poor to raise them. We have to gather together all nations and understand that the future of the world depends on raising children in FAMILIES not in foster homes. Support those grandparents who take on the challenge of raising the world's most precious commodity. Children should never be sold into slavery by the system just so people can make money off them, taking them from the families that love them, there should be no half way house when children are involved. Each participant in the human service system should be accountable for their decisions over children not hide behind a state immunity law. That should be what everyone who has the power to effect change should be working for, because if we don't share that objective, then we're not recognizing that that we share a common future of danger for the family.
Sincerely,
Shirley M. Berens, MHR, MNM Grandparents Resource Center Denver, CO 80227 303-980-5707 www.grc4usa.org grc4usa@aol.com
